Lachrimae Antiquae
for the love of John Dowland
In the universe of my past
forgiving and forgetting
are equal satellites
of that shining planet
once called Happiness
where woman wife
lover mother
pulsed together in energetic veins
of innocent optimism
before
open marriage closed all trust
neglect eroded care
infidelity exhausted love
fatigue set in
and systems collapsed.
Emotional memory
is prolific and precise.
It comes in lumps
in the throat,
the muscles, the heart;
lumps resistant
to all radiation
from those persistently
brilliant satellites;
lumps that grow and spread
until the invasion is total,
the bitterness complete.
Oh flow, seven tears!
Obscure the vision of salvation,
protest the insistent existence
of forgiving and forgetting!
Know, only senile dementia
will confuse the memory of pain,
will so alter the orbits of
forgiving and forgetting
that they might finally collide
in a spectacular burst
of silence.
